Thank you for sharing some of your story on how you became a successful writer while also juggling motherhood, Evelyn! I think many mother-writers need to hear more stories like this! (Mother-writer is a term I first heard from Laura Pashby here on Substack 🤍.)
I spent many, many spare moments while raising my two kids writing, working through messy rough drafts of manuscripts that I’m not sure I’ll show anyone. I’ve also explored my life experiences in a fictionalized format and wrote a healing memoir (that is unpublished) after my mothers suicide. And, deeply reflective journaling has become a life-long habit.
I suppose I’ve written a few “books before the book”. 😊 It’s also encouraging to read about your 50% success rate. This tells me to keep going, even in the face of potential rejection.
Writing has always been a life-line that has helped me process difficult and amazing experiences and emotions. I’ve just never been able to really figure out that next step - to put my work in front of others or get published. The reality of living a successful writers’ life seems illusive and somewhat mysterious! Instead I’ve tried many life paths, but I always return to the writing!
I’m inspired to revisit that book, Deep Work. And looking forward to reading your post “How I wrote 4 novels in 365 days”. Wow.
And I’m determined to keep writing here on Substack in the hopes of building an author platform as I move into the role of “writer-mother”, now that my children are grown.
Darcey, thank you for sharing so very deeply. I can already tell how heartfelt your memoir must've been, given how well you put into words your experiences and feelings in just this comment alone. When I was starting out, I had generous mentors who led the way, and I hope that I will be able to pay it forward and share some of my "wisdom" (for what it's worth) here for writers just like you. (I'm also going to write a post in the near future about how to find mentors). I'm so glad you are here, and I hope to hear more about your writing as you continuing on your journey. Join us for the book club if you're free! I think the writer chat portion will be so inspirational and great for making connections. <3
Thank you for your thoughtful and generous response, Evelyn. I agree, finding the right mentor(s) is key to any kind of success - and having support, too. I look forward to reading your future post on this topic.
I also think you were blessed that your parents supported your dream and helped you create the time and space you needed to write - as you mentioned in the post about writing 4 books in 365 days. Many writers struggle to find that kind of support during different seasons of life, I've been fortunate that my husband has always supported my dream when it was feasible.
I had a great mentor when I was writing my memoir - Linda Joy Meyers and The National Association of Memoir Writers - which I discovered through her book The Power of Memoir: How to Write Your Healing Story. I signed up for a 6 month writers group where she would read a portion of our work every other week and then we'd also review each others work as a group on a phone call (pre-zoom days!). That kind of witnessing really helped me move through some of the most difficult parts of writing my story.
I also went to the Iowa Summer Writing Festival and attended a memoir writing workshop with Hope Edelman who wrote Motherless Daughters. She was teaching us a way to plan out our story structure so it would be more compelling to read. Since I also have a background in the visual arts, I was inspired to create a visual story mapping diagram/method that helped me plot the most pivotal moments of my story to sequence and structure it in a way that is similar to what fiction writers do. (I should probably write about these experiences here on Substack!)
Now that it's been just over 10 years, I think I'm ready to look at that first-draft manuscript again. And maybe repurpose parts of it into a different book I've been working on. It's just so difficult to figure out what stories to share in what book - as I have several concepts. I once had a mentor from the Madision , Wisconsin - Write by the Lake Retreat - say I could be a serial memoirist. I never knew there was such a thing! I also think it's really difficult to determine when a story should be a memoir, or more loosely based on a true story, or fictionalized entirely - especially if you're drawing most of your inspiration from real life.
That's all something I'd love to learn more about.There are just so many ways to approach each story! (And I also dream of having my book ideas adapted to screenplays because I've found movies to be a very powerful way to reflect on life - while offering inspiration and resilient ways to cope with difficult times.)
Sorry for the long response...your posts really have me thinking out loud today! And because of this, I think the book club you're launching would be a great resource!
One question I have - will it only be for fiction books?
Regardless if it is or not, I'd definitely find value in the writer chat portion - to learn why the authors made the choices they did in genre, character, form/structure, plot, etc. I think it would also be great to review books that were adapted to the screen - and talk about what made them a story that worked well for that.
I love everything you've written here! And kudos to you for working so hard to devour more and more knowledge about the craft of memoir writing! I've also pondered memoir vs fiction, and I think a lot of the decision depends on your personality. In fact, you've just given me an idea for a future post about why I decided to use my personal experience of almost losing my husband for a novel, rather than a memoir. So thank you for sparking that idea. (Also, you should absolutely write about the visual storymapping method! I would 100% read that, and if you want to guest post here on my Substack, shoot me an email at evelynskyebooks@gmail.com. But also feel free to keep it for your own Substack!)
The book club will focus on fiction for now, since that's my wheelhouse. But I never say never to change, so it's entirely possible that we could read memoir or other non-fiction in the future! There are fascinating narrative analyses we could do there as well.
I’m definitely looking forward to reading that future post about why you chose to fictionalize your personal experience. (Also glad to know your husband is well now! Sounds like an extremely difficult experience to go through.)
And thank you for your generous offer to guest post. I will think about what that might look like and shoot you an email.
I’m excited for the book club - and will be happy to participate even if you just stick with novels. 😉 (Although, maybe I will dig around to see if I can find a few novels that were based on real life events. Because now I’m curious about that!)
Are you the Evelyn Skye who judged Bluefire a few years ago? Can I say thank you from the bottom of my lawyer -mom heart for the video you gave my daughter? I am going to pull it out and share with her, with your story - she needs that encouragement about now. So glad this appeared in my Substack feed today. Thank you! And keep writing and encouraging.
oh my gosh! Yes, that was me!! I am so happy to hear from you and really honored that that video has had a long shelf life. Please tell her hello and I still think about her writing. I just recommended the Bluefire contest to another teen writer's mom the other day and I mentioned your daughter's writing!
Thank you for the lovely mention and also writing this brilliant post for mothers everywhere! Writing for me has been a huge emotional saviour during difficult stages of motherhood—from miscarriages to postpartum trauma during the first covid lockdown. Being able to escape to my fictional world with my characters, and continue to feel like I was learning a new craft, was so necessary and important then and now, and I can see how it will continue to be. I loved reading your journey—and what a beautiful way to celebrate your first launch with the community around your daughter too. Excited for the movie release and the wordplay book club too!
oh wow, thank you for being so open about your miscarriages and post partum trauma. I am so sorry you had to go through that, but I am glad you had writing as a place to go. It's always a blessing to me to be able to put some of my complicated emotions into my characters; it's like they are guides, sometimes, through our own psyches. Thanks again for the nudge to expand on this topic. <3
Although not a mother myself, I still really appreciate this! I struggle juggling with writing and studies and love any advice that can come my way. Saying no to volunteering, or any events in general that I would not have joined had it not been for the guilt, has been the most beneficial step I could have taken toward my writing. I'll try the deep work next. Thank you for the advice :)
I'm not a mom but I hope to be one someday - and I've always been a little (or a lot!) scared of how motherhood might impact my writing, especially since writing time is so important for my mental health. So beautiful to see how you (and all the parents who have commented here) juggle creative work with parenting. Gives me hope! xx
Thank you for sharing some of your story on how you became a successful writer while also juggling motherhood, Evelyn! I think many mother-writers need to hear more stories like this! (Mother-writer is a term I first heard from Laura Pashby here on Substack 🤍.)
I spent many, many spare moments while raising my two kids writing, working through messy rough drafts of manuscripts that I’m not sure I’ll show anyone. I’ve also explored my life experiences in a fictionalized format and wrote a healing memoir (that is unpublished) after my mothers suicide. And, deeply reflective journaling has become a life-long habit.
I suppose I’ve written a few “books before the book”. 😊 It’s also encouraging to read about your 50% success rate. This tells me to keep going, even in the face of potential rejection.
Writing has always been a life-line that has helped me process difficult and amazing experiences and emotions. I’ve just never been able to really figure out that next step - to put my work in front of others or get published. The reality of living a successful writers’ life seems illusive and somewhat mysterious! Instead I’ve tried many life paths, but I always return to the writing!
I’m inspired to revisit that book, Deep Work. And looking forward to reading your post “How I wrote 4 novels in 365 days”. Wow.
And I’m determined to keep writing here on Substack in the hopes of building an author platform as I move into the role of “writer-mother”, now that my children are grown.
Darcey, thank you for sharing so very deeply. I can already tell how heartfelt your memoir must've been, given how well you put into words your experiences and feelings in just this comment alone. When I was starting out, I had generous mentors who led the way, and I hope that I will be able to pay it forward and share some of my "wisdom" (for what it's worth) here for writers just like you. (I'm also going to write a post in the near future about how to find mentors). I'm so glad you are here, and I hope to hear more about your writing as you continuing on your journey. Join us for the book club if you're free! I think the writer chat portion will be so inspirational and great for making connections. <3
Thank you for your thoughtful and generous response, Evelyn. I agree, finding the right mentor(s) is key to any kind of success - and having support, too. I look forward to reading your future post on this topic.
I also think you were blessed that your parents supported your dream and helped you create the time and space you needed to write - as you mentioned in the post about writing 4 books in 365 days. Many writers struggle to find that kind of support during different seasons of life, I've been fortunate that my husband has always supported my dream when it was feasible.
I had a great mentor when I was writing my memoir - Linda Joy Meyers and The National Association of Memoir Writers - which I discovered through her book The Power of Memoir: How to Write Your Healing Story. I signed up for a 6 month writers group where she would read a portion of our work every other week and then we'd also review each others work as a group on a phone call (pre-zoom days!). That kind of witnessing really helped me move through some of the most difficult parts of writing my story.
I also went to the Iowa Summer Writing Festival and attended a memoir writing workshop with Hope Edelman who wrote Motherless Daughters. She was teaching us a way to plan out our story structure so it would be more compelling to read. Since I also have a background in the visual arts, I was inspired to create a visual story mapping diagram/method that helped me plot the most pivotal moments of my story to sequence and structure it in a way that is similar to what fiction writers do. (I should probably write about these experiences here on Substack!)
Now that it's been just over 10 years, I think I'm ready to look at that first-draft manuscript again. And maybe repurpose parts of it into a different book I've been working on. It's just so difficult to figure out what stories to share in what book - as I have several concepts. I once had a mentor from the Madision , Wisconsin - Write by the Lake Retreat - say I could be a serial memoirist. I never knew there was such a thing! I also think it's really difficult to determine when a story should be a memoir, or more loosely based on a true story, or fictionalized entirely - especially if you're drawing most of your inspiration from real life.
That's all something I'd love to learn more about.There are just so many ways to approach each story! (And I also dream of having my book ideas adapted to screenplays because I've found movies to be a very powerful way to reflect on life - while offering inspiration and resilient ways to cope with difficult times.)
Sorry for the long response...your posts really have me thinking out loud today! And because of this, I think the book club you're launching would be a great resource!
One question I have - will it only be for fiction books?
Regardless if it is or not, I'd definitely find value in the writer chat portion - to learn why the authors made the choices they did in genre, character, form/structure, plot, etc. I think it would also be great to review books that were adapted to the screen - and talk about what made them a story that worked well for that.
I love everything you've written here! And kudos to you for working so hard to devour more and more knowledge about the craft of memoir writing! I've also pondered memoir vs fiction, and I think a lot of the decision depends on your personality. In fact, you've just given me an idea for a future post about why I decided to use my personal experience of almost losing my husband for a novel, rather than a memoir. So thank you for sparking that idea. (Also, you should absolutely write about the visual storymapping method! I would 100% read that, and if you want to guest post here on my Substack, shoot me an email at evelynskyebooks@gmail.com. But also feel free to keep it for your own Substack!)
The book club will focus on fiction for now, since that's my wheelhouse. But I never say never to change, so it's entirely possible that we could read memoir or other non-fiction in the future! There are fascinating narrative analyses we could do there as well.
I’m definitely looking forward to reading that future post about why you chose to fictionalize your personal experience. (Also glad to know your husband is well now! Sounds like an extremely difficult experience to go through.)
And thank you for your generous offer to guest post. I will think about what that might look like and shoot you an email.
I’m excited for the book club - and will be happy to participate even if you just stick with novels. 😉 (Although, maybe I will dig around to see if I can find a few novels that were based on real life events. Because now I’m curious about that!)
Are you the Evelyn Skye who judged Bluefire a few years ago? Can I say thank you from the bottom of my lawyer -mom heart for the video you gave my daughter? I am going to pull it out and share with her, with your story - she needs that encouragement about now. So glad this appeared in my Substack feed today. Thank you! And keep writing and encouraging.
oh my gosh! Yes, that was me!! I am so happy to hear from you and really honored that that video has had a long shelf life. Please tell her hello and I still think about her writing. I just recommended the Bluefire contest to another teen writer's mom the other day and I mentioned your daughter's writing!
Thank you. I will share that with her. Bless you for the encouragement you offer creators trying to find their footing.
Thank you for the lovely mention and also writing this brilliant post for mothers everywhere! Writing for me has been a huge emotional saviour during difficult stages of motherhood—from miscarriages to postpartum trauma during the first covid lockdown. Being able to escape to my fictional world with my characters, and continue to feel like I was learning a new craft, was so necessary and important then and now, and I can see how it will continue to be. I loved reading your journey—and what a beautiful way to celebrate your first launch with the community around your daughter too. Excited for the movie release and the wordplay book club too!
oh wow, thank you for being so open about your miscarriages and post partum trauma. I am so sorry you had to go through that, but I am glad you had writing as a place to go. It's always a blessing to me to be able to put some of my complicated emotions into my characters; it's like they are guides, sometimes, through our own psyches. Thanks again for the nudge to expand on this topic. <3
Although not a mother myself, I still really appreciate this! I struggle juggling with writing and studies and love any advice that can come my way. Saying no to volunteering, or any events in general that I would not have joined had it not been for the guilt, has been the most beneficial step I could have taken toward my writing. I'll try the deep work next. Thank you for the advice :)
I'm not a mom but I hope to be one someday - and I've always been a little (or a lot!) scared of how motherhood might impact my writing, especially since writing time is so important for my mental health. So beautiful to see how you (and all the parents who have commented here) juggle creative work with parenting. Gives me hope! xx